"The solution to too many meetings," you announce, "is clearly MORE meetings! We'll create dedicated Requirements Review Sessions!"
You schedule:
- Daily standup (15 min, usually 45)
- Sprint planning (2 hours, usually 4)
- Backlog refinement (2 hours, usually 3)
- Sprint review (1 hour, usually 2.5)
- Retrospective (1 hour, usually 90 min)
- NEW: Requirements intake meetings (2 hours, 3x per week)
- NEW: Stakeholder alignment sessions (weekly, 2 hours)
- NEW: Cross-functional sync (bi-weekly, 90 min)
Week 1: Your team now spends 32 hours per week in meetings. They have 8 hours for actual work.
Week 2: The senior developer gives notice. "I became a developer to write code, not attend meetings," they say.
Week 3: Two more developers quit. Exit interviews cite "meeting fatigue" and "inability to do actual work."
Week 4: You're spending more time interviewing candidates than managing the project. The remaining team is underwater.
Week 5: The entire QA team quits in solidarity. Your Scrum Master suggests "maybe we should have a retrospective about this."
Week 6: You're the PM of a project with no team. The CEO asks what happened.
"Too much collaboration," you say weakly.