You stare at the screen. The exact same pattern repeating. And suddenly, clarity strikes.
If you can't beat them... profit from them.
You quit the new job before you even start. But this time, you have a plan.
You register an LLC: "Phoenix Agile Transformation Consulting." You create a website with stock photos of diverse people pointing at whiteboards. You use every buzzword: synergy, digital transformation, innovation catalyst, change agent.
You get certified in SAFe, Scrum, Kanban, and three frameworks you're pretty sure someone just invented last week.
Your hourly rate: $400. For enterprises: $600.
Companies hire you to tell them what you already know: their timeline is impossible, their approach is flawed, they need "cultural transformation" (which you'll facilitate for additional fees).
You run workshops. You create transformation roadmaps. You deliver reports that say what they want to hear, structured around frameworks they can't argue with because they paid for the frameworks.
You're never there long enough to see the failure. By the time Project Phoenix crashes, you're already at the next company, diagnosing their "Agile maturity" and recommending a 18-month transformation initiative.
The money is excellent. Your conscience occasionally protests, but you silence it with leather car seats and premium scotch.
PMs across the industry know your name. They craft voodoo dolls. You don't care. You're on a beach in Bali, running a remote "Agile Transformation Workshop" for a Fortune 500 company.
You've become the villain. It pays remarkably well.