Project Phoenix

A PM's Journey Into Madness

Congratulations! You've just been assigned as Project Manager for "Project Phoenix" - a critical digital transformation initiative that will "revolutionize how we do business."

In the kickoff meeting, your CEO stands at the front of the room, radiating confidence. "This will change everything. The timeline is tight but absolutely doable. We're going full Agile. I'm counting on you to make this happen."

Scattered applause. Someone in the back starts a slow clap that doesn't catch on.

As everyone files out, your CTO leans in and whispers: "The vendor says 18 months minimum. CEO wants it in 6."

Your newly hired Scrum Master (they started yesterday) approaches with wide, hopeful eyes: "This is so exciting! Should I schedule the first sprint planning?"

Across the room, you notice the lead developer has their laptop open. They're updating their LinkedIn profile.

What do you do?

A) Set realistic expectations - Schedule a meeting with the CEO to discuss the timeline properly B) Embrace the chaos - Agree to the 6 months and figure it out as you go C) Do proper discovery - Insist on a 2-week requirements gathering phase before committing D) Delegate upward - Ask the CTO to handle the CEO while you focus on delivery E) Go full Agile theater - Start daily standups immediately and hope for the best F) Update YOUR LinkedIn profile - Join the lead developer in their job search